Words are powerful. We have heard the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” but let’s be honest, do we really believe that? When I think about my own life, some of the most painful things I remember are words that were said to me. We can all reflect on our lives and think about something someone said that may have devastated us. We have all had experiences when we have said things that have hurt someone. Some of these might have even been completely unintentional. I remember when I was very young I was wearing a ballet outfit and I asked my mother if the outfit made me look fat. I was, perhaps, six. Her response was, “You don’t have to worry about things like that yet.” That one simple word, the word “yet,” kept me concerned for years. I always wondered if the time had finally come for me to be concerned about my weight.
We also become what we think about. It is inevitable, because one thought leads to another and eventually if we think about something enough we start to believe in it. But, more importantly, what we talk about has power and energy. The law of energy behind this is “thoughts increase in energy when we share them.” So, the thought actually increases in you and the person with whom you share it. I tell my clients to think of your words as either light or pollution. Everything you say has the power to light the room or pollute everyone in it. Your words have impact on the world around you as well as your experience, so the more careful you can be with them, the better your world can become.
Recently, Real Simple Magazine (Jan 13) published an article about the effect of parents’ beliefs on their child’s weight. In it they concluded that if parents described their young child as overweight, that child had a greater potential of becoming overweight than parents who described their child as a normal weight. Our words and beliefs can affect the world around us. A Course in Miracles teaches this as well. The idea behind this is “whatever you look for you will eventually find.” If you believe a person is healthy and strong, you literally lend strength to the energy behind that belief. Even if the person is ill, your belief in their eventual healing energetically strengthens their ability to heal. What you want to see in the world, you will eventually see.
The first thing I teach my clients to do is to become aware of their own inner and outer dialogue. I suggest to start by noticing how often they put themselves or others down. Do not allow “I am” to be followed by a negative. We all make mistakes, but we are not our mistakes. Instead of saying something such as “I am so stupid, I cannot believe I did that,” say “that was a mistake, the next time I will make sure I do not do that again.” Do not use the pronoun “I” when describing your mistakes. Of course you are responsible for them, but you do not want to become them. You want to think of your errors as something you did not something you are.
The next thing I suggest is getting in the habit of vocally appreciating things and people. Because thoughts increase when you share them, you can lift someone up when you appreciate them out loud. Another rule of energy that supports this idea is “you only get to keep what you give away.” This means, when you share anger and judgment, it increases in you. But, if you share your appreciation of something, you end up feeling better. One important thing about this rule is that you cannot make up compliments that are not true. The truth always rings true in the energy system, and making up lies for a person to feel better literally increases the feeling of disappointment in you. When you are inauthentic, you spread inauthenticity. The energy body knows the truth between a lie and the truth. If you search for positive things to find in another you will always find them, because the law is “seek and you shall find.” By searching and sharing your positive appreciation, you keep yourself in the stream of positivity and it becomes easier for you to remain positive.
Finally, the most important thing you can do with your word is to talk about the things that you want as if they are guaranteed and on the way. If you are struggling in business, talk of your troubles as hurdles that will teach you how to jump higher. Assume you are going to learn how to jump over them and talk about how high the hurdle is going to get you to go. Imagine that every word that comes out of your mouth had the power to come true. Get excited about all the great stuff that can happen and talk about that. If you lose out on a job that you bid on, talk about it as a learning process that will help you get the next one. Share your excitement with those around you. If someone tells you they are sick, talk about how quickly they can heal. I call this, “saluting the light within.” Every situation has more than one way to look at it. Decide you are only going to envision and talk about the outcome you want to achieve.
Words are powerful and you have the power to choose them. By using your words to vocally appreciate the people and the world around you and talking about the things that you want rather than the things you don’t want, your words can keep you on the path to achieving your goals. You may be surprised how smoothly they come to fruition.
The HOW TO with Kim Mazzella is a weekly column featuring Kim's expert life coaching tips for the modern woman navigating entrepreneurship, motherhood, work-life balance, and more!
ABOUT KIM MAZZELLA:
Kim Mazzella, founder of the Life Guidance Center, is a Healer, Teacher, Spiritual Coach and Writer. Her work is based in the belief that our natural state is health and wholeness. Her job is to help those she works with remove the blocks that they have placed in the way of the free flow of energy and healing. She integrates the knowledge from her study of A Course in Miracles and universal laws with her study of massage and understanding of the body’s energy system to create a holistic approach to healing and change.